Friday, April 23, 2010

back to reality

The time is quickly approaching. The time where I leave my babies with their grandma and I return to work. It's such a "catch 22" feeling. I love being home with them and hanging out with them all day. But there is vital importance in adult time and a little break from the kiddos. Not to mention, I find it very important to contribute to my family by going to work. It definitely isn't easy getting things done around here (ask me about the basket of laundry that has been waiting to be put away for about 4 days now). And my big question is how am I gonna be able to manage work and the house when I can barely manage the house, now? The priorities include: loving, playing with, feeding, changing, and bathing my babies, hopefully feeding and showering myself, and then housework. See how low it is on the list? ;)
Little headway is being made on Avery sleeping in his own bed. The first night I was very adamant about him sleeping in the crib and we were both up until 4 am. By 5:15, he was in my bed. Night #2 I just couldn't bear the thought of no sleep, so he slept in my arms- all night- without one wake up! By night #3 I decided he is still a tiny baby and if he needs to be close to me for awhile then I am ok with that. I will try again in a few days. Maybe he just needs to be a little bit older... Addison hasn't been in bed with us since she was 5 weeks old, so it's very difficult for me to understand why Ave doesn't want his own space. But I'm getting there.
We are still hanging in the balance with my mom... She is waiting to have an ultrasound to determine the stage of her cancer. (They are pretty sure it is stage 2) Once we know for sure, then they will begin radiation and chemo for 5-6 weeks. After an 8 week break from those 2 she will have surgery to remove the tumor. HOPEFULLY that will be the end of this awful nightmare. I hate seeing her so vulnerable and scared. But, I just know that a year from now we are gonna look back and this is all gonna be a memory. But, hopefully it will be a life-teaching memory for all of us. I just wish there was a better way for us to learn it! True character comes out in time of stress and tragedy. and my mom is the same old, smiling, amazingly generous woman that she has always been. The woman that she will continue to be.