Thursday, April 8, 2010

been awhile

I haven't blogged since my days on myspace. It's been awhile. A lot has changed since myspace. My purpose in life has been truly defined since myspace. I'm the mother of 2. wow. the mother of 2. I feel like I have a lot of purpose raising 2 amazing babies. Some days I feel empowered to be chosen to be on team motherhood, other times motherhood seems to over power me! The true blessing is knowing the everyday is a new one and every day a new opportunity for learning and growing presents itself. For instance, last night in a no sleep delirium I accidentally fed my child a 2 1/2 oz bottle of water while the formula sat on my night stand waiting patiently to be mixed to the above mentioned bottle of water. My grunting, angry child attempted to notify my that something was wrong. In my haze, I didn't pick up on his cues. All I can do his hope that tonight is better and that I remember the simple step of dumping in the formula that is necessary to nourish my baby.
The thing I am having a hard time balancing in my new life as a mother of 2 is guilt. I have a supportive family that offers to lend a hand in helping with my kiddos. But guilt ensues as soon as I'm offered a break. Even a 10 minute break. I know how much I need 10 minutes to rest/relax/recoup, however time is flying by so fast that no matter how under-rested, how under-showered I may be; I have a difficult time relinquishing my kids (even if it's just one of them) I'm a stubborn person.
I know this isn't much of a blog. But I'm just getting my feet wet. It's a great way for me to clear my head- which is quite foggy due to lack of sleep. I hope that I am able to find time every couple of days (or weeks?) to get out some thoughts. For now, my thoughts revolve around: making sure I add formula to every bottle I feed my son, and making sure I relax when people want to take my daughter on a play date. She very well may need more of a break from me than I need from her! ha!