Sunday, October 17, 2010

There is something amazingly therapeutic about headphones in your ears; music cranking in, the world drowned out. Sometimes you just need a little help blocking out thoughts. I'm the definition of type A personality, so I often obsess over minor issues that in the long run don't mean squat. So a distraction is nice. Plus, it motivates me to clean the toilets. There is also something therapeutic about the wonderful shades of orange, yellow, and maroon on the trees. There is nothing better than driving home from a terrible day at work and being able to look out the window and just smile. Smile at the pureness, the beauty. I love that nature is beautiful and doesn't expect much in return...
I was recently blessed with the opportunity to spend the WHOLE weekend in Cleveland with my husband. (I have an amazing mother in law) ;) We stayed busy the entire weekend, but at the same time it was a much needed pause from everyday life. Everyday life is good- but a break once in a while is nice. We saw the Bodies exhibit, which was amazing! I just hope that someone, somewhere prayed for these people before their bodies were turned into a science exhibit. I hope the people who once owned those bodies are resting peacefully. We also tailgated before the Bengals/ Browns game which was the most fun I've had in my adult life! There is something about eating a hot dog and drinking a beer at 9:30am that can't be touched. It was a wonderful weekend!
My mom is 3 treatments deep in her chemo... 3 down 9 to go. Maybe. The 3rd treatment threw us all for a loop because we never expected the horrible side effects to hit so quickly. She said that she truly felt like she was going to die. She has barely been able to walk since the treatment. She is so thin. So weak. She is talking about quitting the chemo and just living life. Before she got diagnosed she felt fine, so why after its removal should she feel like she is 6 inches from death? She has a lot to discuss with her oncologist, and hopefully they can alter the game plan so that the method to heal her doesn't kill her. She has a whole lot of people praying for her everyday so let's hope they can make some changes to get her through this!
I LOVE this time of year, but I'm pretty shocked that we are already on the downhill slide of October- and of the year! Which means my daughter turns 3 and then my son turns 1!! what?!? The hardest part of motherhood is remembering that every moment, every day builds up to shape them into who they are and who they are gonna be! Addison has always been an obedient little girl and has never really questioned who is in charge. Until recently. I knew this day was coming, but having her test boundaries all day every day gets a little taxing. Tonight I had to put her to bed without a story and it made my stomach hurt because she was begging and pleading. I had to stick to my guns though, because giving in one time tells her that I am a pushover. Her bedtime story is the highlight of her day. :( But I HAD to stay strong. Avery is an altogether different kind of child. He has been crawling for 2 weeks now and he is only 7 1/2 months old. He crawls right toward wires, outlets, and cords! He is a very curious child. ;) He is gonna keep us busy, I'm sure of it. So having a nosey lil infant and a boundary testing (almost) 3 year old keeps me very busy! I'm trying so hard to remain patient because if I get frustrated- it teaches them that it's ok to get upset and angry at minor things. So, it is not always easy trying to maintain the standards I set for myself as a mother. I think Robbie and I do a good job and helping each other out when the other is overwhelmed. There still should be a book on how to raise babies... Oh, wait! There are like 3 million- all with contradicting information. So they all cancel each other out! Guess I will just keep learning as I go and hoping I'm doing a decent job!!