I have felt a little “off” lately. A little frustrated, a
little overwhelmed. And then I get more frustrated because I ask myself why?!?!
Why am I feeling this way when I know how blessed I am. It poses the question- does God truly
give you more than you can handle? Not in the terms of negativity, but in the
terms of blessings? {and as a
quick side note- let me just say- I believe he absolutely DOES give you more
than you can handle, and it’s perfectly explained in a blog that I came across ~Lemonny Things~
} But, back to my original thought… ;) Do you allow your blessings to be turned
into burdens by not realizing their worth? A few prime examples from my life as
of late:
-man! The grass needs mowed again!
-I cannot keep up with keeping this house clean!
-ugh… I don’t want to go to work today.
- I just wish the kids would give me a break for 5 seconds
- I have a long run this weekend?! When am I gonna get that done??
These are just a few of the overwhelming thoughts I’ve been
having. And for the record, I’ve always had a bit of a ‘negative’ mantra. I try
SO HARD to improve my inner voice, but it is not an easy obstacle to overcome. And I don’t want to continue the
negativity by pointing out my many faults with the above-mentioned statements.
But I feel it’s important to count our blessings as just that- amazing blessings
that should not be taken for granted; should not be treated as a burden. It’s
like that saying “what if you only woke up with the things that you asked God
for the night before”
Instead of complaining about the time it takes for my hubby
to mow and the dirty toilets that need cleaned I need to BE STILL. Be still and be thankful for
our home and our land. God so perfectly timed the selling of our previous home
and the purchase of our current home that is was nothing short of miraculous. I
need to remember that! Be insanely
grateful that I have a career that I love and several different jobs that allow me to serve and help those
in need.
Now when it comes to motherhood and child rearing I feel
that I’m in a frequent battle of feeling guilty for being impatient and
promising that tomorrow will be better. That’s not good enough- I need to just
take each moment as it comes. Take a deep breath, smile, and realize that my
children are treasures. If Jesus can patiently provide mercy and grace to me
every single second of the day, then my kids deserve that from me. And believe
me- I’m not “too big” to apologize to them. I do that frequently. And when it
comes to running- again- I feel like it’s become a battlefield. I worry about
the time that long runs consume (which in turn creates more “mommy guilt”). I
worry about how I’m gonna get all of my training runs completed, how I’m gonna
be ready for my third half marathon in THREE WEEKS. And when I really stop to
think about it. I KNOW God didn’t bless me with the gift of running so it could
cause guilt, anxiety, frustration, and worry. He gave it to me so I could grow
my relationship with Him. So I could get that “5 second break” I “wish” I had.
And if I’m being brutally honest with you (and myself)- God has been trying to
plant the seed of discipline in me for years. I can proudly say I’ve ran over 600 miles!! So I’m learning
the art of discipline; but not at the rate in which I’d like. LOL It’s ME that
places the red tape ALL OVER my blessed runs. Not God. He just wants us to
follow His word and He wants to bless us. We, as humans create obstacles that separate us from
Him. Not the other way around….And it's in the midst of these moments that create our true self.
So… my question. My challenge is HOW DO I TRIM THE FAT?? Cut
the red tape? The frustration? The overwhelming-ness, and anxiety so that I can
just be? I know the answer is
simple- unplug, BE STILL, pray, and focus on the truth that is right in front
of me.
There are many exciting things in my future- including
joining the REACH team at my church (local outreach and missions!!) and my
husband and I joining the marriage ministry team. 2 half marathons are right around
the corner. My daughter starts first grade in a few weeks. My son starts his
last year of preschool in a few weeks, too. So, let me take my overwhelmed self
and turn it all over to God and truly soak in my multitude of blessings!!!
Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Hebrews 6:12
We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.
We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.
Psalm 46:10
He says, “Be still,
and know that I am God
Psalm 55:22
Cast your
burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will
never permit the righteous to be moved.
