Saturday, April 17, 2010

one day changes everything

Isn't it crazy how we all go along with day to day life in our bubble of naive happiness? Until your world is rocked with bad news....
We found out a few days ago that my mom is going to war. Not the kind of war that you go to boot camp for, leave your family and wear fatigues for. Not the kind of war you can prepare for. Her body is at war. She was just diagnosed with cancer.
We do not have a lot of information yet, because it was discovered during a routine test. We meet with doctors on Monday to determine course of action/treatment plan/prognosis/etc. My mom is one of the strongest people I've ever met. I know no matter what we are told that she will battle through this and beat it. She has to.
I miss my naive bubble of happiness. I haven't experienced a great deal of tragedy in my life, but what is worse than finding out your mom is sick? I imagine the only thing worse would be to find out one of your children is sick (my poor grandma and grandpa...)
I'm an adult, but in my eyes my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles are "real" adults. To see them broken, saddened, and feeling helpless turns my world upside down. I'm also a fairly strong person (I've been fighting my own battles with health issues for a few years now) but, again, to see my family's foundation feeling weak makes me want to puke.
I hate the "c" word. (cancer). It's hard to even say... I keep repeating myself with "I just don't understand" because I don't.
My my is, has, and always will be my hero. Not because she is going to survive cancer, but because she is an amazing woman. Who has given to those in need without even thinking twice including giving people gas money and emergency airfare money. She has searched high and low for a sock monkey for my daughter after I couldn't find one. She searched everywhere for lemon flavored iced tea for me right after I gave birth to my son because that is all that sounded good and no one could find it anywhere.
No one but my mom.
I plan to keep this updated with my mom's journey- our journey. As she beats this disease. I know it will change our family for the better in the long run. I'm not going to ask why my mom was chosen. I know why. She is strong enough to beat it. That's why.