Friday, May 10, 2013

A tiny taste

There is something positively, deliciously untouchable about an early morning run. Crisp weather. The brilliant oranges and yellows from the sun rising across the field. The dew gathering on the blades of grass and occasionally on your running shoes.  Getting home and peeling off soaking wet clothes to hop in a steamy hot shower. All before the kids are awake? It’s untouchable. It sets the pace for your whole day.  Which, in and of itself makes the early ‘beep beep’ of the alarm worth it.
I’m by no means a seasoned athlete. (I was a junior high cheerleader and I played softball in 6th grade… and by “played” I mean rode the bench and turned every game and practice into a social event). However, I can honestly say- in my mere 4 weeks of running something has awoken in me. Something that I didn’t even know was there. I feel a confidence and a determination to accomplish big things. A full marathon is already creeping into my brain. And I’m still 4 ½ months away from my first half. :) I’ve always lacked confidence in most aspects of my life. I’m hard on myself as a mother, a daughter, spouse and employer. But after a run my whole mantra is different. I don’t blame myself for the little things. I’m not as sensitive to little jokes made by others. I feel like I carry around this little secret that no one but me knows. It makes me smile and it makes me stand a little taller.  
I feel proud to have an identity outside of mommy….mommy….mommy…. (you know how that goes). When my feet are pounding the pavement and I’m out of breath- I have the guilt free opportunity to think of things so far away from “Does Avery need his nose wiped?” Does Addie need quiet time today, or has her behavior earned her a free pass?”"what's for dinner?"
Running is such a whole body, mind,  spirit realignment and I’ve had just a tiny taste. I literally cannot wait to continue this journey.  To learn more about who I am as in individual.  To give myself a break from everything 4-5 times a week as I push myself towards goals that I never dreamt were possible.