Saturday, July 19, 2014

Counting my blessings

I have felt a little “off” lately. A little frustrated, a little overwhelmed. And then I get more frustrated because I ask myself why?!?! Why am I feeling this way when I know how blessed I am.  It poses the question- does God truly give you more than you can handle? Not in the terms of negativity, but in the terms of blessings?  {and as a quick side note- let me just say- I believe he absolutely DOES give you more than you can handle, and it’s perfectly explained in a blog that I came across ~Lemonny Things~ } But, back to my original thought… ;) Do you allow your blessings to be turned into burdens by not realizing their worth? A few prime examples from my life as of late:
-man! The grass needs mowed again!
-I cannot keep up with keeping this house clean!
-ugh… I don’t want to go to work today.
- I just wish the kids would give me a break for 5 seconds
- I have a long run this weekend?! When am I gonna get that done??

 These are just a few of the overwhelming thoughts I’ve been having. And for the record, I’ve always had a bit of a ‘negative’ mantra. I try SO HARD to improve my inner voice, but it is not an easy obstacle to overcome.  And I don’t want to continue the negativity by pointing out my many faults with the above-mentioned statements. But I feel it’s important to count our blessings as just that- amazing blessings that should not be taken for granted; should not be treated as a burden. It’s like that saying “what if you only woke up with the things that you asked God for the night before” 
Instead of complaining about the time it takes for my hubby to mow and the dirty toilets that need cleaned I need to BE STILL. Be still and be thankful for our home and our land. God so perfectly timed the selling of our previous home and the purchase of our current home that is was nothing short of miraculous. I need to remember that!  Be insanely grateful that I have a career that I love and  several different jobs that allow me to serve and help those in need.
Now when it comes to motherhood and child rearing I feel that I’m in a frequent battle of feeling guilty for being impatient and promising that tomorrow will be better. That’s not good enough- I need to just take each moment as it comes. Take a deep breath, smile, and realize that my children are treasures. If Jesus can patiently provide mercy and grace to me every single second of the day, then my kids deserve that from me. And believe me- I’m not “too big” to apologize to them. I do that frequently. And when it comes to running- again- I feel like it’s become a battlefield. I worry about the time that long runs consume (which in turn creates more “mommy guilt”). I worry about how I’m gonna get all of my training runs completed, how I’m gonna be ready for my third half marathon in THREE WEEKS. And when I really stop to think about it. I KNOW God didn’t bless me with the gift of running so it could cause guilt, anxiety, frustration, and worry. He gave it to me so I could grow my relationship with Him. So I could get that “5 second break” I “wish” I had. And if I’m being brutally honest with you (and myself)- God has been trying to plant the seed of discipline in me for years.  I can proudly say I’ve ran over 600 miles!! So I’m learning the art of discipline; but not at the rate in which I’d like. LOL It’s ME that places the red tape ALL OVER my blessed runs. Not God. He just wants us to follow His word and He wants to bless us.  We, as humans create obstacles that separate us from Him.  Not the other way around….And it's in the midst of these moments that create our true self.
So… my question. My challenge is HOW DO I TRIM THE FAT?? Cut the red tape? The frustration? The overwhelming-ness, and anxiety so that I can just be? I know the answer is simple- unplug, BE STILL, pray, and focus on the truth that is right in front of me.
There are many exciting things in my future- including joining the REACH team at my church (local outreach and missions!!) and my husband and I joining the marriage ministry team. 2 half marathons are right around the corner. My daughter starts first grade in a few weeks. My son starts his last year of preschool in a few weeks, too. So, let me take my overwhelmed self and turn it all over to God and truly soak in my multitude of blessings!!!

Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Hebrews 6:12
We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

Psalm 46:10

 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God

Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.